harlequinhater | 001. [TEXT]

uh... hello? does anybody read these memo things?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?

anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)

i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Salutations, and welcome to Johto!

[Sorry John, you're a new person asking questions. So you're getting a nice little infodump whether you really wanted it or not.]

I'm sorry, this isn't a prank, but I can still fill you in! People from all kinds of different worlds wake up here like you did, in that woman's house. She calls herself everyone's mother, but she's very nice! And the food she gives you IS very delicious but you shouldn't eat it all at once, it might have to last a few days until you reach the next town over.

[Learn from her mistakes, John. Foraging in the wild for three days isn't as fun as it might sound.]

Unfortunately, there's no way to get back to wherever you were, at least not intentionally. Sometimes people just vanish and go back home. But it's really nice here! And apparently time stops back home while you're here, which personally doesn't make a lot of sense to me but it's been confirmed by people who've gone home and then returned? It's strange. But just try to think of it as a strange vacation!

And I bet that bird cloud thing is your Pokémon partner, everyone here gets one when they arrive. It can fight to protect you if needed, and they're really good friends too!

And my name is Penny, it's a pleasure to meet you! Did you have any more questions?

[It's entirely possible she heard Dave from down the hall of the inn they're staying at, but let's not jump to conclusions here.]

[Wow that's a lot of information at once. John needs to read it over about three times before he really understands any of it.]

uhhh well thank you for the really thorough introduction, penny!
my name is john.
so.... all of that means that i can spend as long as i want here and then when i get sent back home, everything will be like i left it?
that's kind of a relief, honestly!
so what is there to do here? is it all about battling our pokemons?

A lot of people battle them, yes! But you can also breed them, and lots of people use them for normal businesses or just as pets!

[He is taking this remarkably well. ...And there was something critical buried in there, one second.]

Are you the John that's friends with Dave and Jade?

[And ~~Zoidberg~~ Karkat, but details.]

yeah, that's me!
oh man is jade here too?
is she less gray and evil now?

She is! She

wait, what?
She's definitely not evil! I can't even imagine

And she's not gray, is that a thing in your world? For humans, I mean, I know the trolls were gray but no one said anything about gray humans.

most humans don't turn gray ever!
but i guess its like a sign that a human has gone magically evil or something.
because our other friend rose turned gray when she got mad and went totally grimdark.
and then jade turned gray when she got mind possessed by a troll who was also betty crocker.
i am glad to hear that she is better, though.

Oh no, that sounds terrible!

[That's... not as bad about hearing that Jade had died, but it's pretty bad. She is hugging Jade so hard as soon as this conversation is over. She might not let go.]

She's definitely better in that case, yes! She's one of the nicest people I've ever met!

yeah, jade is pretty awesome!
good sister, best friend.
just don't tell her she's a furry, though.
or that science sucks.

A furry is what you call Faunus in your world, isn't it? She's told me about her doggy ears! I think she misses them at least a little.

And why would I say something like that? Without science we wouldn't have our weapons or computers or delicious things like chocolate.

well i don't know what a faunus is, but a furry is a person that likes to pretend that they are part animal.
and so they put on stuffy and creepy looking suits to pretend that they are wolves or cats or something.
also they make a lot of really weird fanart with rainbow wolf people and stuff.
jade was like a real furry though because her ears were actually attached to her instead of just being on a headband.
if the internet hadn't gotten blown up with the rest of the world she would have been really popular on it.

and yeah, all of that might be true, but you've got to admit that science is at least a little bit bullshit.
like it has all of these complicated rules and equations, but you can overlook all of that with magic anyways?
so why bother?

[Taking a moment to process all... that. What even is your world, John.]

A Faunus is what Jade is! Was. But there were a lot more of them where I come from, and they didn't just have doggy ears, they could have traits from a lot of different species!

[Clearly the most important thing to clarify.]

I don't think magic is really real, though? At least it wasn't where I came from. And the Pokémon can do some strange things, but I'm sure it's all explainable with science even I don't understand it myself!

i don't know about that.
at least where i come from, magic is definitely really real!
i used my magical wind abilities to fly around and also literally become wind.
i bet you a hundred boonbucks that science cannot explain THAT.

Oh, that does sound really magical.

But I can't say for sure, I'm not a scientist! Where I'm from, Dust and Semblances can do all kinds of amazing things, and those definitely aren't magic!

well i don't know what a semblance is, but dust doesn't sound very magical, i'll give you that.
it's just sort of on the ground. like really fine dirt.
i guess you can scientifically explain that if you want to, but that seems like a waste of science to me.

Not that kind of dust, Dust!

[Capitalization is important, quirks or not.]

Dust is a crystalline substance on Remnant. It interacts with the Aura of humans and faunus to produce a wide variety of elemental effects! We use it for fuel or to enhance our weapons, and all kinds of things!

Have you talked to a girl named Weiss? Her family owns the biggest Dust company on Remnant, she probably knows more than anyone here!

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