001. [TEXT]

[harlequinhater]

uh... hello? does anybody read these memo things?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?

anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)

i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?

Comments

1/2

[callbacks]

[Four towns away, with a cry of "JOHN!!!" a young man flails right out of his chair and onto the floor, because he's a real chill and awesome dude like that.]

[Text] 2/2

[callbacks]

[Nobody saw that. If anybody saw it, they better have UNseen it, that's all Dave's saying, except he's not really saying that because if a teen falls in a forest and nobody's around to hear it, he's not a complete dweeb.]

what about if instead of that
you explained what the fuck youre doing with
quote
weird time jumping powers
unquote
are you jacking my style
come on dude you cant just jack a dudes style what happened to the sacred terms of our friendship
what happened to the tried and tested legislation that governs our fraternal bond
john
what happened to the bro code

[Text]

[harlequinhater]

[John has never been happier to see that familiar wall of red text.]

dave!!!
oh man am i glad to see you here.
anyways my weird time jumping powers are being used so that i can save your sorry ass!!
and im pretty sure that saving your best bros life trumps any other bro code laws.
also i got them by sticking my hand into a magical glowing house if that's relevant.
so where are you??
i'm at uhhhh.....
i think that sign said something like new barb town.
does that mean anything to you?

[Text]

[quadrangle]

[Guess who's in the same room as Sir Strider over there.]

DAVE FELL OUT OF HIS FUCKING CHAIR, JOHN, THAT HAD BETTER BE YOU.
WHAT ARE THESE TIME ERRANDS AND WHY DID YOU SFJLHGKJKS

[Yeah, Dave may or may not have noticed what he just wrote and tackled him to the floor.]

[Text]

[harlequinhater]

don't worry karkat, it is definitely me!
though dang i really wasted an opportunity here...
if i'd known you guys were actually going to respond i could have pulled off a totally sweet prank.
anyways, terezi assigned me some weird timeline errands.
i had to go and change some really minor stuff back in your troll version of the game for reasons that only old terezi knows, and she did not decide to tell me.

but wait, hold on a second! are you and dave in the same room right now?
man i'm so jealous!
give him a bro pound for me!
or whatever trolls do to show friendly affection.

text;

[freshprints]

...John?

[...]

The ID attached to this Gear indicates that the user is John Egbert. Can you confirm that, please?

text;

[harlequinhater]

john? who is this john of which you speak?
because i am definitely not john and have never heard of a john in my entire life.



...hehehehe.

[Text]

[in4apounding]

Salutations, and welcome to Johto!

[Sorry John, you're a new person asking questions. So you're getting a nice little infodump whether you really wanted it or not.]

I'm sorry, this isn't a prank, but I can still fill you in! People from all kinds of different worlds wake up here like you did, in that woman's house. She calls herself everyone's mother, but she's very nice! And the food she gives you IS very delicious but you shouldn't eat it all at once, it might have to last a few days until you reach the next town over.

[Learn from her mistakes, John. Foraging in the wild for three days isn't as fun as it might sound.]

Unfortunately, there's no way to get back to wherever you were, at least not intentionally. Sometimes people just vanish and go back home. But it's really nice here! And apparently time stops back home while you're here, which personally doesn't make a lot of sense to me but it's been confirmed by people who've gone home and then returned? It's strange. But just try to think of it as a strange vacation!

And I bet that bird cloud thing is your Pokémon partner, everyone here gets one when they arrive. It can fight to protect you if needed, and they're really good friends too!

And my name is Penny, it's a pleasure to meet you! Did you have any more questions?

[It's entirely possible she heard Dave from down the hall of the inn they're staying at, but let's not jump to conclusions here.]

[Text]

[harlequinhater]

[Wow that's a lot of information at once. John needs to read it over about three times before he really understands any of it.]

uhhh well thank you for the really thorough introduction, penny!
my name is john.
so.... all of that means that i can spend as long as i want here and then when i get sent back home, everything will be like i left it?
that's kind of a relief, honestly!
so what is there to do here? is it all about battling our pokemons?

[Text]

[crouching_sin]

Weird time jumping powers are inadvisable anyway. Time has enough trouble with things.

In any case, it looks like you've gotten the rundown from several people already. Any other questions?

[Text]

[harlequinhater]

ugh, like a million, but i don't even know where to start!
like why pokemon?
also why does everybody have the same mom apparently? how many children does she think she has?
and do pokemon poop?
because right now this cloud bird is nesting in my hair and i dont want to find out if the shampoo in my backpack washes out poke poop.

[eclectictype]

[So this is what Karkat and Dave were tussling about, huh.]

:D
:DDDDDD

jooooooooooooohn!!!!!!!!!!

before you ask yes i am no longer gray and evil!!!
somebody else will likely give you the tldr version but basically
we are now in pokemons
there are a ton of new pokemon
this is also a region that i am not familiar with and apparently there are more out there?
pokemon lay eggs
every single one except the ones that dont because fuck you i guess?
we are stuck here for an indeterminate amount of time
but this game exists on a separate plane of existence than our session so things will stay as they were until we get back
thats about it as far as basic information goes
well!!!
at least what i can immediately think of anyway :o
unless you had questions?
besides about terezi
the only troll here right now is karkat and he is now an adorable human :)

[harlequinhater]

jade!!!
man, i'm glad to see your lime green text again.
and i am also glad to hear that you have stopped being gray and evil again!
thanks for the rundown, too.
i didn't think that i would ever encounter anything even MORE confusing than SBURB but here we are!

as for questions...
are you ALSO with dave and karkat right now?
because i have got to tell you, i am feeling pretty left out right now!
three of my best friends are all sitting next to each other IN PERSON while i am sitting on a bench in a weird town with a bird on my head.
so unfair!

[yanginthere]

tbh she doesnt even play a convincing mom figure
i mean what kind of mom locks their kid out of the house
after some cryptic lines about a big journey
and a pack filled with supplies
but not enough to last the three day journey to the next town over??

[ Not that she's bitter or anything. If there is one thing she'll never forgive about this place, it's the whole Fake Mom thing. ]

[harlequinhater]

huh, i guess that is kind of a weird thing for a parent to do.
i wouldn't really know about moms though.
the only mom i know anything about is my friend rose's mom, but i also got the feeling she's a weird example?
unless all moms drink a lot and have giant wizard statues everywhere.

[text]

[charcoalfeather]

[That sure is a lot of blue here. It's like Rakka's trying to read the sky.]

uh, this might be a weird question but...
You can fly?
I mean, everything else you're asking about is important too!
but I guess
I'd like to know?

[text]

[harlequinhater]

well, not anymore.
but yeah, i used to be able to use all kinds of awesome wind powers!
obviously flying was included, because what good are wind powers if you can't fly with them?

[Text]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[A quick skim over some comments (just the first one would tip her off) and a spy of the name "john" is enough for Ashley to figure out who's talking here. Does that mean... Dare she? Font color on.]

Oh the infamous John!! I'm so pleased to see you're here! Your friends have missed you.
Silly of me not to introduce myself first. I'm Ashley. Hi, I know Dave and Karkat and Jade.

Re: [Text]

[harlequinhater]

[It takes him a couple of seconds to realize that this isn't somebody from his universe due to the colored font, but he's pretty sure there weren't any "Ashley"s in SBURB. He feels like he'd have remembered that.]

hi ashley! nice to meet you. i am john, but i guess you've already figured that out.
...though what do you mean infamous?
have they been telling you lies about me?

text;

[usedglaciate]

Unfortunately, none of us got to keep our powers or our gadgets.

text;

[harlequinhater]

that really sucks!
but i guess it makes sense if we are also being given pokemon.
like it would kind of be overkill otherwise? though it still sucks major ass.

[text]

[rosetotheoccasion]

yeah all our powers are gone it's really dumb!!
weapons too
and that's even dumber, I really miss Crescent Rose :(

[text]

[harlequinhater]

its super dumb i agree!
though who is crescent rose?

[islandshore]

John?

[Well, he doesn't seem to remember. Not that Riku's surprised; you spend enough time in this world, and you start to expect things like that. He can work with it; besides, it's not like he's suddenly sprouted two heads and become an evil overlord.

Which is completely absurd and would never happen. Still.]

I'm guessing you've already gotten the overview. New world, no powers, gotta catch 'em all, and so on.

Best advice I can offer you is to treat it like a surprise vacation. Go explore, have fun, try not to get harassed by kids obsessed with their pet rats. Oh, and watch out for the ledges.

[harlequinhater]

uh..... sorry but do i know you?
i don't think i know anybody who types like you, but i guess i could be wrong.

and what's the deal with ledges???