John Egbert (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
harlequinhater) wrote2016-03-21 07:30 pm
harlequinhater) wrote2016-03-21 07:30 pm
001. [TEXT]
uh... hello? does anybody read these memo things?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?
anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)
i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?
anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)
i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?
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but there's no need to keysmash about it.
[Text]
[Annnnd he's back!]
WHAT? NO THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT WAS, GODDAMMIT JOHN WHY WOULD I KEYSMASH OVER THIS
DAVE AND I HAD A DISAGREEMENT, THAT'S ALL.
YOU SAID YOU WERE DOING TIMELINE ERRANDS? HOLD ON, LET ME CATCH UP ON WHAT YOU'VE WRITING TO DAVE.
THESE CONVERSATIONS ARE PUBLIC BY THE WAY, YOU CAN HAVE ONE OF US SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE THEM PRIVATE WHEN YOU GET HERE
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU FIXED THE TIMELINE?? AND YOU WENT INTO OUR SESSION?? WHAT??
JOHN WHAT UTTER BULLSHIT ARE YOU SPEWING, YOU MEAN THINGS ARE
DID YOU ACTUALLY FIX IT? DID YOU CHECK?
[Text]
dave said it would take me like a whole month!
that's a WHOLE MONTH of having people peeking in on my heartfelt, private conversations!
and no i did not get to check.
i was about to! but after i punched vriska in the face i ended up here.
so i have no idea what things are like back in the game.
[Text]
AND THAT'S
[Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Then they still won't know. Fuck, okay, no, get over it, move on, change the subject.]
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT VRISKA.
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and i punched vriska in the face!
i think it was probably to keep her from dying?
terezi definitely looked like she was in a really stabby mood before i showed up.
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IT'S A GALLADE. THEY HAVE SPACE POWERS? IT'S FUCKING COMPLICATED, I DON'T USUALLY BOTHER TRYING TO ANALYZE IT.
[...]
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS.
[Text]
anyways i don't know much about the others.
the clown troll was tied up when i punched vriska.
you yelled at me for a while which was pretty funny.
oh, i did see the cat troll, though!
but she was still pretty dead. i don't think terezi changed anything there.
[Text]
[Karkat, what do you have against bagels. Also, just. Give him a minute.]
OK, SO GAMZEE'S STILL ALIVE. FUCKING PERFECT, IT'S WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED.
AND VRISKA AND TEREZI. OK I THINK I CAN HANDLE THIS.
WART IS NOT LIKE JADE. HE'S A PSYCHIC/FIGHTING TYPE POKEMON, AND FOR SOME REASON TELEPORTING IS AMONG HIS ABILITIES.
AGAIN, IT'S PROBABLY BETTER NOT TO ANALYZE IT.
JADE IS MORE LIKE A
FUCK I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH POKÉMON FOR THIS, DAVE CALLED HER A LILLIPUP? WAIT, MAYBE A MIGHTYENA, THEY HAVE THE RIGHT FUR.
[Text]
i didn't know her name until now. i wasn't trying to offend you.
so okay jade is like a mightypup or whatever.
but i think we are overlooking a very important question here!
what pokemon am i karkat?
[Text]
[Zero hesitation. Sorry, John, you are not cool enough for Gyrados yet.]
OR YOUR FEATHERBEAST CLOUD WHATEVER THING, FUCK IF I CARE. DAVE HAS ONE AND I CAN SEE THE RESEMBLANCE.
AND IT'S OK. SHE WAS A GOOD FRIEND BUT
YOU KNOW WHAT NEVERMIND. WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT POKÉMON YOU WOULD BE, JOHN, HOW IS THAT YOUR FUCKING PRIORITY.
[Text]
what! no way.
i would be something way cooler than a magikarp!
YOU'RE the magikarp.
and i don't know, you were trying to figure out what jade would be.
it seemed like a fair question.
[Text]
YOU'RE A TRAINER, AREN'T YOU? THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE NOT A TRAINER.
[Meanwhile, he's. Well, okay, he hasn't been doing much breeding or training, but this still seems fucking unfair somehow.]
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why is that such a big deal?
what are you?
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I'M A BREEDER, SAME AS JADE
BUT THAT MEANS I GET TO ALL THE SHIT YOU CAN'T WITHOUT A BADGE, SO SUCKS TO BE YOU.
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....what are badges and what do they do?
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SO IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE FLYING SOONER THAN YOU, FUCKBERT.
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ugh that is not fair at ALL!
can we switch jobs or something? is that allowed?
because i don't want to be a trainer if it means I can't fly!
that's just stupid!
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BETTER GET TRAINING.
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like are there pokemon gyms with weights and treadmills and stuff?
i dont know if blue could handle a treadmill.
its legs look really short.
also i dont know if cloud wings are capable of picking up weights?
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IT'S A FUCKING VIDEO GAME, GENIUS, NO ONE'S GOING TO MAKE THEIR POKÉMON LIFT WEIGHTS.
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i bet that when my pokemon are strong and fully trained they will be able to lift so many weights.
it seems like a useful skill, even in battle!
imagine having a dumb bell thrown in your face.
it would hurt a lot.
[Text]
THEY CAN KILL WITH THEIR MINDS, JOHN, THEY DON'T NEED TO THROW FUCKING DUMB BELLS.
WHATEVER, THE POINT IS YOU TRAIN POKÉMON TO FIGHT OTHER POKÉMON BY HAVING THEM FIGHT FUCKING POKÉMON.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS FROM THE IDIOT?
[Text]
i thought we were buddies now! or wait, do trolls usually call their friends idiots?
....wait a second, this doesn't have anything to do with that weird hate-romance you guys have, does it?
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NO. WHAT? NO THAT'S STUPID WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! THAT WAS YEARS AGO JOHN I'M COMPLETELY OVER IT.
YOU BEING MY FRIEND DOES NOT PRECLUDE YOU FROM BEING AN IDIOT OR ME CALLING YOU OUT ON IT, DICKWEED, JUST ASK DAVE.
[not here]
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