harlequinhater | IC: Route 29 Inbox

hi jane!
i have been doing well. in fact, i just got my first gym badge! little foot stomped on all of falkner's bird types.
figuratively, i mean. mostly he just used ice beam.

and i got a weird egg too! though it did not hatch into a gray fox-looking thing.
though your gray fox is awesome.
it looks like a cotton candy sheep instead.
his name is poe.

[To demonstrate, John sends his own short video. Adorable.]

Wow, congratulations!
So what sort of cool things can you do now that you have this badge?

Hoo hoo, Poe is a cutie!
And thank you very much! I'm quite proud of August. He is a very well-behaved Pokemon.
Unlike a different recent addition, but I digress.
Poe looks incredibly cuddly! Have you tried giving him a hug yet?

i am SUPPOSED to be able to fly with it.
but as it turns out you need a fancy thing called an HM to teach a pokemon to fly.
it doesn't make much sense to me if i am being honest.
blue is clearly able to fly. she does it all the time! why does she need a badge and a fancy move to be able to fly while i am sitting on her back?
anyways i guess i will have to go to cianwood soon to try and sort this out.

and no i have not tried to give poe a hug yet on account that he is an electric type and would probably shock me.
he does look super cuddly but don't be fooled, jane! that is all just a front for the deadly taser inside.

It sounds like the silliness that won't let me hold onto Marnie when she's in the water, because apparently that's technically Surfing.
I'm assuming you get this fancy flying device in Cianwood?

How do you know for sure he'd shock you? Maybe he'd give off a little static, but shouldn't it be safe?
If I am wrong then you are free to place blame on me for any injury you may sustain.

yeah, apparently i have to beat the gym there too in order to get the flying device.
you know, breeders don't have to put up with this! they can fly without the gym badges.
it is so unfair!

and i guess i could try hugging him, but even getting a little bit shocked isn't really something i want to do.
getting a static shock seems like it would completely negate the benefits of touching something soft.

Well, that's all well and good for them, but I suppose hoofing it for a bit and earning these things fills the time.
Breeders probably have other things they need to do, like...breed?
How does that even work anyway?

Maybe if you two ease into getting to know each other, he won't spark you?
It might be a trust thing.
And, if he gets stronger, he could control it better if it's involuntary.

i have no idea and i am not sure i want to know.
you could ask karkat or jade maybe? i know they are supposed to be breeders.
oh! and penny breeds things too. she is where i got snik from.

and this is probably true.
he is still kind of a baby though so i will wait until i know he is better at controlling his electricity before i try to hug him.

I'm not exactly keen on finding out the specifics myself, but I still need to ask.
And I suppose I'll ask them about it sometime.
Though, which of your Pokemon is Snik?

That's a good idea!
Just make sure he knows he is very well loved and he'll be happy to get hugs from you, I'm sure.

snik is my nidorino.
i don't let him out in polite company because he is poisonous and he hates me.
you do not want to meet him.

Oh.
Uh, gosh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Is he just unruly, or does he have a specific vendetta against you?

Bettina is also a Poison type, but she has not attempted to poison ME, at least. And I...think she likes me? Or is indifferent and just likes to battle and be, for lack of a better term, "a little shit".
Maybe they'd get along.

i don't know.
after he evolved he started charging me with his giant poison spikes and after that i haven't let him out very much.
for obvious reasons.
i heard that gym badges can sometimes get pokemon to respect you so i hope that getting the zephyr badge will help.

you have a point though... maybe it would help if he had a friend?
what kind of pokemon is bettina?
i do not think ive met her.

Very obvious reasons.
Perhaps it might, but in case he's still giving you trouble, maybe...hmm. Maybe he's trying to get stronger somehow, and needs a challenge?
I don't know how much challenge a human is going to be to something with large poisonous spikes, but perhaps there's some sort of apparel you can buy that repels his poison and softens the blow when he charges?
I'm not saying you should put yourself in danger, but you never know what the problem is until you make an attempt to work it out. And Pokemon are very clever! I'm sure you two can come to an agreement.

Oh! Sorry. Bettina is a Zubat, so she is Poison and Flying-type.
She is also, as I said, a little shit.

man what is it with poison types and being little shits?
though actually i think that gozer is part poison type and she's really cool.
you remember gozer, right? she was the awesome ghost pokemon i caught at the festival!
but she's more ghosty than poisony so maybe that's why.

i guess finding a poison-proof outfit would be a good idea, though.
i will look into it!
they should have SOMETHING like that in pokemon land right?
like with so many magic animals with terrifying powers you would think they would have a lot of protective clothing.

I think I do remember her.
Perhaps it IS the influence of another type that keeps her behavior in check, though you'd think a Ghost type would be all about mischief.
And if that's the case, does that mean Bettina is more Poison type than she is Flying type, given her penchant for troublemaking?
It's something to look into, at least. She does really enjoy battling, so I would like to be less at odds with her.

I certainly hope they do! If not, then that is sorely poor thinking on the Pokemon world's part and somebody should get the jump on that market.

yeah, that is kind of weird...
maybe both of the types are SO tricksy that they just cancel out?
like the tricky value gets so big that it reverts back to 0, sort of like an opposite version of ghandi in civilization.
though i would not discount flying types for being mischievous.
blue is very devious even now that she is a big dragon bird.

that is a good point.
maybe if nobody has made pokemon-resistant clothing then i will open my own clothing business and become super rich!
i just need to learn how to make clothes first.

Or it could be like multiplying by zero or something? It just cancels everything out.

Hoo hoo! I sadly cannot make clothes either. Unless, of course, it was within the game and we had the appropriate grist amount.
Then I would definitely invest in doing so. It would cut down on the things I need to buy, at least!

i know! it is such a rip off that we do not get to bring our alchemiters or our grist here.
i had mad amounts of grist back in the game.
we could basically make anything we wanted!

i wonder what you would even combine to make a poison-proof outfit though...
maybe antidote && suit || pillow?

Really? Huh!
Good for you all on that front. I wish we could say the same - our monsters gave us an absolute pittance of grist for the fights they put up, so we were lucky to splurge on a couple of things.

That sounds like a good combination to me! I bet it'd require a bit of experimenting to get a format that would work most effectively, but it's a good start.

dang, that sucks!
i hope that when we meet up in the future of the game we are able to give you guys more grist so that you can make a bunch of useless shit that references your favorite pop culture icons.
that is about all we did with it.

But that sounds like fun!
I think if I could make anything, I'd make a replica of Ron Swanson's suit when he plays jazz as his alter-ego Duke Silver.
It'd have a more feminine cut of course, but a peak-lapel grey suit like his would be incredibly dashing!

ron swanson? duke silver?
who the heck are they?
though in my opinion i do not think you can go wrong with alchemizing a suit.

They're the same person.
Duke Silver is an alter-ego for Ron Swanson when he plays saxophone in Eagleton, Indiana on the second Thursday of every month!
And Ron Swanson is the director of the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana! He's not the main character of Parks and Rec, but he is undoubtedly the best.
Did you not see Parks and Rec?

parks and rec?
i have never heard of it or this ron swanson you speak of.
is it a movie?

No, it is a television show.
It started airing back in 2009, and before I went into the Medium, we were just revving up into season 4!
Thank goodness Dirk and Roxy had the rest of it pirated in advance, or I'd have never known how it all turned out!
Goodness, John, if you've never seen it, we should find out if there's some way to get our hands on it!

oh that must be why.
our universe ended in 2009, so i guess it never got to air.
that's pretty sad now that i think about it. :(
but yeah, if you think it's cool, then it's probably cool!
maybe there's a weird pokemon version of it here.
there seem to be weird pokemon versions of lots of things.

IC: Route 29 Inbox

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i have to pull up wikis for all this information i'll have you know

this is hilarious because i have actually seen all of parks and rec twice, what role reversal

:B

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/casually shatters the 4th wall

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