001. [TEXT]

[harlequinhater]

uh... hello? does anybody read these memo things?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?

anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)

i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?

Comments

[yanginthere]

tbh she doesnt even play a convincing mom figure
i mean what kind of mom locks their kid out of the house
after some cryptic lines about a big journey
and a pack filled with supplies
but not enough to last the three day journey to the next town over??

[ Not that she's bitter or anything. If there is one thing she'll never forgive about this place, it's the whole Fake Mom thing. ]

[harlequinhater]

huh, i guess that is kind of a weird thing for a parent to do.
i wouldn't really know about moms though.
the only mom i know anything about is my friend rose's mom, but i also got the feeling she's a weird example?
unless all moms drink a lot and have giant wizard statues everywhere.

I walked myself right into this setup didn't I???

[yanginthere]

i

no.
thats definitely not the case

you chose to interact with a homestuck character, and i'm so sorry

[harlequinhater]

yeah, i didn't think so!
because moms in movies never seeemed to be that weird.
but movies lie about a lot of things, even if those things are usually really awesome things.
like being able to stop an asteroid with a nuclear bomb or firing lasers at green slime ghosts.

oh I know what I was getting myself into >.>

[yanginthere]

well that last part you might just get to see here
or something like it
i have no idea what that other thing is except im imagining some kind of explosive?

[harlequinhater]

it was a summary of the movie armageddon starring bruce willis, liv tyler, and ben affleck.
unless you are asking what a nuclear bomb is, in which case that is an explosive that uses nuclear power to.... blow things up.
i don't actually know the mechanics behind it. that's way too much boring science know-how that i never really felt like googling.

but oh man, is there a green slime ghost pokemon here? because if there is i need to catch it immediately.

[yanginthere]

there could be?
i mean theres a whole type dedicated to ghosts
and pokemon in general tend to be pretty colorful

the first part just cinches that were not from the same world
but thats all right
i like hearing about new places

[harlequinhater]

i will search high and low for my elusive green slime pokemon and then i will become the ultimate ghostbuster.

anyways, what kind of world are you from?
are you an alien like a troll or something? or just a human from a cool fantasy world?

[yanginthere]

haha well if i find one first or hear about it ill let you know

me?
oh id say im pretty cool for a human



wait a sec
you know about trolls as aliens too??
what do they look like to you?

[harlequinhater]

trolls?
well, they have gray skin and these weird orange horns.
some of them are really long and kind of wild looking, but others are just tiny silly looking nubs.
oh! and they also have yellow eyes. unless they're dead, in which case their eyes are white.

what do you think trolls look like?

[yanginthere]

ive never seen one before
but that description is familiar

do you know a dude named karkat?

[ And is she going to regret asking that? ]

[harlequinhater]

yeah i do!
he was a little shouty troll who tried to troll me backwards with time shenanigans.
but in the end he really only trolled himself.
he made me a shipping chart once.

why? do you know a dude named karkat, too?

[yanginthere]

yeah i do
hes loud!
and angry a lot
i know dock workers with cleaner mouths than his
not for a lack of trying on my part

[harlequinhater]

hahahaha, yeah that sounds like the same karkat that i know!
his insults are hilarious.
once you learn that he is just a harmless gray alien, anyways. they were pretty annoying before then.

[yanginthere]

i dont want to encourage him
jade does a good job of keeping him in line
but shes not always around
and i think i lost dave to the cause weeks ago

[ NOT THAT SHE FEELS BETRAYED OR ANYTHING ]

[harlequinhater]

well no shit!
dave swears all the time. he just seems more casual about it because he talks in lowercase letters.
like, with karkat, the FUCK is just right there for the world to see! it's very bold.
but dave just sneaks them in there all stealthy-like among his weird metaphors and stupid rapping.

[yanginthere]

ive never heard dave rap before

[ not sure if she should be thankful of that or not. ]

[harlequinhater]

you know.... i am not actually sure i have ever heard him rap either.
but i've seen his raps. textually, i mean.
....though admittedly i skimmed most of them.

[yanginthere]

you made me curious about it
so now ill have to pester him about it soon

[harlequinhater]

if you want to ask him then i will not stop you.
but you might want to bring ear plugs. you know, just in case.

[yanginthere]

haha if you say so

either way im sure theyll be happy to see you
people can come in groups from the same world
or even separately
but the more the merrier right?

[harlequinhater]

right!
i hope that more of my friends make it here. wherever here is.
i really miss some of them.

[yanginthere]

i know the feeling
theres no telling how long any one of us will be here so
you never know

its only been a couple of months for me
but ive heard of and talked to some people that have been here for years

[harlequinhater]

THAT long? dang, that kind of sucks if they left people back home.
though i guess this isn't a terrible place to be stuck for a while.
it seems like there are a lot of nice people and fun things to do.

[yanginthere]

yeah its not so bad
the animals are cute
the food is pretty good
it doesnt cost too much just to get by
traveling is a pain but thats what teleporting is good for

oh hey
if you talk to dave you should ask him about that
thats how they got me out of new bark