harlequinhater | 001. [TEXT]

uh... hello? does anybody read these memo things?
is this some kind of prank? i wouldn't put it past terezi to pull something dumb like this.
so terezi if you're reading this can we just go through the "gotcha" moment and can you send me back?

anyways if you are NOT terezi and this is NOT a prank could somebody please tell me what's going on?
because last thing i can remember i was running a bunch of weird time errands for an alien girl.
and then i woke up here in a bed that is definitely NOT mine because it doesn't have cool ghost bed sheets.
also apparently i have a mom now?
she is nice i guess and this lunch box looks delicious, don't get me wrong!
but i was doing some important things!
i don't have time to be playing with this cloud bird thing!!!
(though it is a very cute cloud bird, i will give it that.)

i have tried to get back but my weird time jumping powers do not seem to work here.
and i cannot even fly anymore which is such bullshit! i forgot how lame it was to walk around everywhere.
also my sylladex is gone. so i don't have any of my cool computers or weapons.
instead i just have a backpack and this lame "poke gear" thing which doesn't even have pesterchum installed.
so. yeah.
could somebody fill me in, please?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I like a well-made movie as much as the next person, but it's not the same.

It's inconvenient, that's for sure. You get used to the Gear relatively quickly, though, even if it doesn't have all the bells and whistles that a lot of us are used to.

I'd still rather have my Semblance, too, but the Pokemon are good.

Hehehe.

[Speaking of Jade, of course she's sitting nearby watching all of this going on. A significantly bigger cloud bird is at her side serving as a pillow of sorts.]

I told you! He's super cute, right?

[Now it's Jade's turn to hop up and join the hug, turning it into one big group hug. What can she say, she missed her ecto twin.]

Welcome to the world of Pokemon, John Egbert!

uhhhh at this point its more of a daily occurrence so :?
not funny so much as typical karkat bullshit
you will DEFINITELY have more opportunities to witness them!
i cant wait for you to meet all of my pokemon too john :)
i hatched quite a few of them from eggs
and they are all very strong and cute!

WELL I'm more partial to books.
It's not exactly OUR tastes that line up, but the tastes of you and my best friend! Though it sounds like you like romance a bit more than he does. :p

okay so.....
hai banes are like angels then? does that mean that you have white robes, a halo, and wings?

gee, that sounds exactly like the kind of thing that a stuffy and boring person would say!

yeah, this poke gear isn't too bad.
it would be nice to have my actual computer back but this is just like a fancy phone.
it even has video options if these buttons are anything to go by, which is pretty cool!

...though what is a semblance?
or is that going to be a really long explanation that will just give me a headache?

Your insults are not convincing me of that mental age problem.

Jade!

[John extracts one arm from Dave so that he can properly pull Jade into the group hug. No way is he letting his ecto-sister get away without some good, solid, hugging action. Hell, Karkat is going to get hugged too, but that can wait until after these other two hugs are hugged to completion. It's just the way heartfelt reunions are done!]

Thanks for the warm welcome, guys. I've gotta say, I'm so ready to be done with SBURB for a while. This game seems at least ten times more fun, even without the cool super powers.

well i wouldn't expect anything less than strong and cute pokemon from you, jade!
though it is kind of weird that all pokemon come from eggs.

The video option is pretty nice. I like it.

The explanation isn't all that long. The easiest way to translate it is that it's what powers are called where I'm from.

That's right, Haibane.
Uh, well I woke up in white clothing, and I have a halo and wings?
I mean, I used to have them.
I don't get to have them here.

[HUGS FOR EVERYBODY okay that's enough. Dave gets squirmy after a while and slips himself free, ruffles John's hair up into even worse shape.]

Okay, but I still gotta find somebody to lodge a complaint with. It makes no sense that some of these fuckers can fly laden with our aerodynamically unsound asses and we can't. I call bullshit, Pokéworld. Bullllllllshit.

what! no, i do not like romances!
i mean, a well-placed and emotional romance in an action movie can be nice but romcoms are the pits!
failure to launch is the exception and that is only because mcconaughey is in it and his acting chops are like magic and make any movie at LEAST kind of bearable.

yours arent convincing me that you are not just a stuffy, pretetious book reader.

okay, that is a very short explanation. thank you!
does that mean that you also used to have awesome powers, then?

aw that sucks!
ive never had wings before but i think it would probably really stink to lose them if you were used to them.
did you have any cool angel powers?

Excuse you, I am a pretentious book reader programmer chef, among other things.

That's right. I had my glyphs, and I was working on learning summoning, too.

Hey hey hey, don't just diss on romcoms like that. :/
I wasn't saying it as a bad thing, a good romcom is nice sometimes.
Or a romance novel.

[—"Super cute." Karkat grimaces but doesn't bother snapping "adorabloodthirsty" to correct her because 1) she's probably just saying it to fuck with him anyway, 2) shit's overplayed by this point even if it's still accurate, goddammit, and 3) priorities, namely how stupidly happy all three of them looked tangled together like that.

He misses Kanaya and Terezi. Fuck, he misses everyone but the clown, how ridiculous is that? Pull it together, Karkat.

Glancing at Dave, he snorts and rolls his eyes at all three of them.]

Oh, the tragedy of it all. Reduced to mere mortals, literally pedestrian, how will you poor god tiers cope? Your pain must be legendary. I for one am touched, or maybe that's just a precursor to me finally achieving my lifelong dream of becoming so nauseated I puke out of every orifice. Can we move the fuck on now, I'd like to maybe not have to listen to more shit from you people than you're already desperately clenching your inflamed sphincters to contain.

Oh, shut the fuck up Karkat Crabpants! [It's said in a good natured tone as Jade also releases her brother and ruffles his hair.] John's already missed so much here, and he needs to meet Ruby and Penny and--oh damn, so many people!

Crescent Rose is my weapon!!
a high-impact sniper-scythe that I built myself!
it's pretty much totally awesome

well as long as you acknowledge the truth of you being a pretentious book lover i can accept it.

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